Tag Archive for tour bus

Lost in London, Part Two: Blame the Elephant

Westminster architecture

Westminster architecture - L L Melton

Once we find the right tour bus, our first trip to London will be the experience of a lifetime. Right?

The first leg of the tour takes us to Westminster Abbey. We manage to keep up with the guide through the amazing architecture and crypts.

We fall in with a young couple from the US – let’s call them Donna and Jeff. They’ve been lost in London – but that was last week. Jeff is the first to tell us the adage: If you need directions, ask a tourist – and get a good map. Among Londoners, mum’s the word.

All too soon, we’re herded back to the bus. Next stop: Buckingham Palace. “If you get lost,” the tour guide says, “go back to the Queen’s Gallery, and the bus will be there.” Why is he staring at me?

We keep our guide’s hat in sight as we race past the swans and geese and palace guards. Then we spot the elephant.

The elephant that visited the Queen

An elephant visits the Queen - L L Melton

My son and I stop for just a moment to watch it pass. People dressed in silks and costumes dance to Oriental music inside its head. Ah – it’s a mechanical elephant!

We turn, and suddenly a crowd of strangers is teeming around us. The the square is full of people heading in all directions.

No hat. No guide. No daughter.

“We should go this way, Mom.” My son tries to pull me forward. Wait – didn’t the guide say the bus would wait at the Queen’s Gallery? So we rush back the opposite direction.

After 20 minutes, it seems obvious the bus is not coming. The friendly Rubens Hotel concierge helps us call the tour company. My daughter is with the tour, having lunch at the Silver Cross Pub. Lunch! We’re famished. We can’t even grab a cab, because the streets are closed.

Blame the elephant.

So we run through the streets of London for the second time that morning. My son’s pulling me, and we make it – just in time to board the bus. No lunch. Donna saves the day again, with bread she’s slipped into her bag from her complimentary hotel breakfast. The loaves that feed the multitude – or at least the five of us.

Big Ben

Big Ben- L L Melton

We ferry down the Thames, stare at Big Ben, and explore the famous London Tower.

Traitor's Gate

Traitor's Gate - L L Melton

Later, Donna and Jeff help us navigate the underground – “mind the gap” and all – and we make it back to Hyde Park Square. We even smile when someone asks how the tour went.

Trip of a lifetime. Right! That was a few years ago – and it’s enough to convince me to get lost in the UK again, in 2012. (The real question is whether my kids will want to come with me this time!)

Have you ever been lost on foreign soil? How did you handle it? (Please click “Read more” below to leave a comment.)

Lost in London, Part One: First Glimpse

Window view, London

View from our window, Hyde Park Square - L L Melton

Our first time overseas – with three days in London! I’m writing in my mind everywhere I look, already seduced by London architecture through the cab window. My two kids are two-parts excited, two-parts jet-lagged as we stare out at the biggest city we’ve ever seen.

And that was just the ride from the airport! It was years ago, but for us, that first trip overseas really was the trip of a lifetime. So I’ll tell the tale in present tense.

We book into a room in Hyde Park Square (booked for us by a PR firm).

No Regency carriages and rakes these days, but the rectangle outside the tall, narrow hotel building is quaint and green. Heaven after the slush of melting winter in Saskatchewan! The room feels like luxury incarnate (although officially it’s three- or four-star). We’re two blocks from Oxford Street, lined with shops, but that has to wait for the jet lag to wear off.

Attractions near Oxford Street

London razzamataz - L L Melton

Instead, we sample sweet potato soup and Perrier at Stuzzico’s on Kendal Street. Later, I unpack enough to realize I left all my maps and research in a file folder on the kitchen table in Regina. My plan to see a Broadway show fizzles: we’re asleep before I can figure out how to get tickets.

In the morning, I tell a concierge we’re headed for the hop-on, hop-off double-decker bus recommended by work colleagues. He convinces me to take a guided tour of London town instead. “It’s once in a lifetime.” He thrusts brochures and tickets at me. So I gulp and spend $350 on tickets for us. Now we need to make our way to the Royal Lancaster hotel, where the tour will start.

“Just go straight down this street, and you can’t miss it,” he tells us.

Right. We walk two blocks, and discover the road in front of us forks out in five directions. It’s our first encounter with the time-honored English tradition of the traffic circle. To quote the immortal words of Dr. Seuss: You can go here and there — but straight is no more in Seuss’s vocabulary than in the London street grid.

And so, on the morning of our first day in London, bound for a sightseeing tour intended to kick off our holiday, I have us running up street and down lane, desperately trying to find the right bus tour.

Pretty soon I can feel the tears trickling down my face, and I’m dragging and being dragged along by my two red-headed kids. We pass a gaunt Londoner right out of Coronation Street, complete with a smoke dangling out of one corner of his mouth and a disheveled black windbreaker. He stops, and growls, “Y’awright?”

I start to blurt out something about being lost and spending too much money and the bus tour. He’s looking at me as if my head just exploded. I feel a flush creeping over my face, and force myself to calm down. “We’re all right,” I say. “Don’t worry. We’ll find it.” He nods, shrugs, and walks on, relief written all over his disappearing back.

Leanne suddenly calls, “There it is!” I look up in time to see a bus barreling around the corner a block away, bearing the tour company’s name. The kids race ahead to flag down the bus – by then stationary – so Mom can catch up. Desperately waving the chunk of paper that serves as my receipt (I should have paid online and obtained a proper piece of paper, like everyone who knew what they were doing), I ask if he can help us find our tour.

The bus driver stares at me, and then gestures behind us. We turn to find three-foot high-letters glaring at us: Regency Hotel. Our tour. And a tour guide, who takes one look at us and pawns us off on a colleague called in to accommodate the waiting crowd.

But we made it. I wish I could say that was the last time we were lost in London – but I’ll write more about that in Part Two. Have you ever been lost in an unfamiliar city? It’s okay to laugh about it – now that it’s over! Click “Read more” below to leave a comment.